What Every Bride Should Know When Planning A Wedding

I recently officiated at the marriage of a couple who had been together for eight years and had two beautiful children. It was a joy to be around this couple because the love and affection they had as a couple and as a family filled the room whenever they entered.

I worked with them putting together a ceremony that captured their love and commitment to each other, their children, family and friends. As they entered together I asked “Who gives their blessing to the union of these two people?” and their children, families and friends with the exception of just two people, all stood up and said “We do” and cheered. It was impossible for the couple or for me to hold back the tears. Knowing that they had the love and support of their friends and families made the ceremony so personal and interactive.

After the ceremony the couple who had not stood up came over and began to apologize, not for remaining seated, but for as it turned out her brother, who she felt was “rubbing her nose in his homosexuality”. The couple I had just married were two men. Again I wanted to cry unfortunately not for the joy that was felt earlier.

A very deep sadness came over me, and I wondered how an apparently educated woman could be so closed. She continued to comment that it must be hard to perform a ceremony that meant nothing and went against God’s plan. I could only look at her and explain that I had over the years received many blessings, insights and understandings but the one thing I had not received was the right nor the wisdom to pass judgment on any human being and certainly not the right to declare in God’s name that one person has not the right to love another. Her indignation was obvious and she left abruptly.

The point is, without your ceremony you’re just throwing a big party. Make your ceremony special whether you are including a large circle of friends and family or just a few who are very close and special. Tradition is nice but so is including and sharing the moment with those you love and who love you. A marriage is a lasting commitment between two people who are willing to endure the hard times, support each other in prosperity as well as adversity and to remain true to the vows they have taken. Gender has nothing to do with commitment or love. Perhaps society should concentrate more on reducing hate and ignorance in the world and let love thrive wherever it may be found.

© 2008 Mary Spies All rights reserved