What Every Bride Should Know When Planning A Wedding

Now that you are engaged and you are ready to set the date. The planning begins, but how do you begin planning when you are not sure just what kind of wedding you want. I think this is the hardest part of a wedding; knowing what you want.

The key to planning is actually knowing what you want. Find out what is important to you. You would be amazed how much money can be thrown away on things that will never be used, not to mention the time and gas wasted going from one place to another. The first thing I tell brides is to get a scrapbook, rubber cement, a pile of magazines a pair of scissors and take an afternoon off and away from everyone.

Creating a scrapbook is an easy way of finding out what your tastes are, not your friends or your mother’s but yours. Telling your mother or a friend “I know what I want, I just need to find it…” is like waving a red flag at a bull. What mother or best friend doesn’t think she knows what you like or want or even worse what’s best for you? I can tell you from experience I nearly drove my daughter crazy trying to be helpful, and was woefully disappointed when she was not thrilled with my ideas and suggestions. And so like many mothers of my generation, I resorted to guilt to try and persuade her to my way of thinking and to my tastes. Little comments like “I’m just trying to be helpful but you obviously know so much more than I do…” Well, duh! Of course she knew more than me it was her dream! What she didn’t know was how to communicate what she really wanted.

Creating a scrapbook gives you a visual map of your tastes. I think the real trick is to keep your logical brain out of the process. The idea is not to create but to define and again it’s all about you. Do you lean toward a classic or a simple sophisticated look? A country casual or metropolitan flair; traditional, contemporary or off the wall, there is no right or wrong, no budget, no one else to please.

I think it’s important to use a variety of magazines and catalogs. Pick up a couple of each bridal, home and garden and fashion magazines and a catalog like Spiegel, Sears, JC Penny’s, or Ikea. Go through and cut everything you like out and don’t think about it, if you think your logical brain will kick in and take over. Forget you live in a tiny apartment or with roommates, forget you can’t afford to even step foot in the store that carries the item you like, forget you’re to fat, to thin, to tall, short it doesn’t matter. If you like it, cut it out. That means everything, dresses, hair styles, bridesmaids dresses, furniture, bedding, tuxedos, rings, locations, linens, tents, chairs, tables, flowers, cakes, food, favors, musicians, DJ’s, dancing, dining, limos, carriages, The only rule is you like it, you cut it!

Now that you are buried in a mountain of cutouts, get your scrapbook and glue and start sorting. Sort by category, grouping wedding gowns together, bridesmaid dresses together, furniture etc. You get the idea. When you have finished your scrapbook put it aside for a day or so. This may sound silly after all that work but try not to look at it right away. Why? Your logical brain is screaming “Enough already, I gotta’ take over! Keep going and you’ll start second guessing your choices. The whole point is not to be practical. It doesn’t matter whether you can afford it, wear it or even find it where you live; the point is you like it.

Now it’s time. Get your scrapbook, a pen and a piece of paper, get comfortable and get ready to look for the common denominator. What you have done by putting this seemingly mish mash of cutout pictures together, is to begin to define your personal taste and style. Each group of pictures will have a common factor. Your style will pop out. There will be something similar in every grouping of pictures. It may be a color, a design, an attitude, a time of day, or a place, I guarantee there you will find your style.

For example, if you find that evening seems to dominate your wedding pictures perhaps it’s an evening wedding you want. What is similar in the gowns you’ve chosen? Are the styles similar or is each different in style but all have intricate detailing such as beading or lace work; maybe it’s the way the neckline is cut or the look of the back or bustle of the dress. If you can’t find it, set it aside there is something else that drew you to that picture. Maybe it’s the hair or the makeup, maybe it’s just the attitude or how the picture makes you feel. Once you start to see a pattern, you’re on your way to the wedding you really want.

This is the condensed version of the scrapbook method of defining your style, to get the whole enchilada you’ll have to buy the book!

© 2008 Mary Spies All rights Reserved